It’s the day after Christmas as I write this. Boxing Day for us Brits.

It isn’t a recognized holiday here in the US, but I love to take the day off anyway, in keeping with my roots.

We had such a beautiful Christmas. I even took not one but two naps yesterday. I think I needed them. It was the first real day of slowing down in a while. I’ve had my foot firmly on the gas pedal for several months.

So why am I up writing this at 5 a.m. on Boxing Day?

I wake up early most mornings.

Not because I’m disciplined.

Not because I really love mornings (well… I kind of do).

I wake up because it’s the only time of day that’s quiet.

The house is dark. Everyone else is asleep. And for a small pocket of time—sometimes just fifteen or twenty minutes, maybe thirty if I’m lucky—I’m not needed.

No one is asking anything of me.

No one is calling my name.

No one needs me to remember, organize, fix, or decide anything.

I make my cup of coffee and sit down with it, collecting my thoughts.

And it’s funny, because as a homeopath, I’ve gone back and forth about coffee over the past few years. I’ve thought about giving it up more times than I can count. I wonder if my remedies would work better without it. I know how it affects sleep. I worry about how it affects cortisol and my nervous system. I’m fairly certain I’d feel better physically without it.

Is it a maintaining cause? Is it getting in the way of my true healing? I think I can answer yes, most likely, but every time I get close to quitting, I realize something.

It’s not the coffee I’m attached to.

It’s what the coffee represents.

It’s the ritual.

The warmth in my hands in a quiet house.

The feeling of something warm moving through my body before the day pulls me outward.

The pause before the roles begin.

That early morning space isn’t about the boost of energy to help me wake up. I truly don't struggle with getting going. It's usually me who gets everyone else up and moving. But those moments are about arriving back to myself before I give myself away all day and the truth is, I like the taste of coffee. I look forward to it and it brings me joy.

Motherhood carries a very specific kind of weight. Not because we don’t love our families—we do, deeply—but because there are so few moments where no one needs anything from us.

And so many of us create small rituals without even realizing it.

The early wake up, the quiet kitchen, the cup of something warm.

It’s not hiding.

It’s not avoidance.

It’s a reset.

A reminder that before I am a mother, a partner, a caregiver, or the one who holds everything together, I am a person who needs a moment of stillness.

Every sip in peace feels like a gift I give myself. And for the season of life I’m in right now, that feels okay to hold onto.

Especially during busy seasons. Especially around the holidays. Especially when the days are full and the nights feel short.

Some mornings, the coffee goes cold before I finish it. And I have to ask myself—was it ever really about drinking it?

It was about sitting in the quiet. Breathing without rushing. Starting the day feeling just a little more like myself.

And I’ve come to believe this: health isn’t only about what we remove. It’s also about what brings us back into ourselves. My logical brain can tell me coffee isn’t “good for me” (and honestly, it’s probably the sugar I add more than the coffee itself), but protecting my peace in the morning is good for me. There’s balance in everything.

It’s why I don’t tell my clients they need to remove their “obstacles to cure”—at least not right away. I meet them where they are. When they are ready, they will remove what no longer serves them. I know that time will come for me too with coffee, but in this season of life I'm in with little kids and a million responsibilities, I'm not there yet.

Sometimes, a small ritual that brings calm, joy, or steadiness is exactly what gives us the energy to show up for everything else.

And maybe that’s not something we need to justify at all.

If you’re navigating exhaustion, overstimulation, or the feeling of never quite being off-duty, this is the work I love to support.
You don’t have to give up what brings you comfort to heal.

https://leaphomeopathy.com

And in case you are wondering, my favorite brands of "coffee alternatives" that I often turn to are Everyday Dose and Cuppa. They both taste pretty decent. I have no affiliation with either company - I am just a girl who loves her morning cup.